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Expecting raise in salary 18+


Subject: request a raise in salary

I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:

1. I do physical labor.

2. I work at great depths.

3. I plunge head first into everything I do.

4. I do not get weekends or public holidays off.

5. I work in a damp environment.

6. I work in a dark area that has poor ventilation.

7. I work in high temperatures.

8. My work exposes me to diseases.


Dear Penis,

After assessing your request, and considering the
arguments you have raised, the management denies your request for the following

1. You do not work 8 hours straight.

2. You WORK IN SHORT SPURTS AND fall asleep after
EACH brief work period.

3. You do not always follow the orders of the management

4. You do not stay in your designated area, and are often
seen visiting other locations.

5. You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in
order to start working.

6. You leave the workplace rather messy at the end
of your shift.

7. You don't always observe necessary safety regulations,
such as wearing the correct protective clothing.

8. You will retire LONG before you are 65.

9. You are unable to work double shifts.

10. You sometimes leave your designated area before
you have completed the assigned task

11. And if that were not all, you have constantly been seen
entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious-
looking bags.

Sincerely, The Management


5 reasons not to be a penis...

1. You're bald your whole life.

2. You have a hole in your head.

3. Your neighbors are nuts

4. The guy behind you is an ass hole and..

5. Every time you get excited, you throw up and then faint.


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