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Santa & Banta got tired using cell phones

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Santa & Banta got tired using cell phones. For a change, they decided to use pigeons to send messages. And this scheme worked very fine.

One day Santa sends his pigeon.

Banta sees the pigeon is without any message. He picked his mobile and asks Santa: The pigeon is without any message!!!

Santa: Oye khotey, that was a missed call.



What is the chemical formula of water?

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Chemistry Teacher: What is the chemical formula of water?

Student: HIJKLMNO.

Chemistry Teacher: What are you talking about?

Student: Yesterday you said H to O.

Honorable MEN

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Must Read for Every Man and of course Woman (to understand man)

If a female is reading this article then just realize the value of a man, and if its a male then feel proud of after reading it!

"One day, while a woodcutter was cutting a branch of a tree above a river, his axe fell into the river. When he cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, "Why are you crying?"

The woodcutter replied that his axe has fallen into water, and he needed the axe to make his living.

The Lord went down into the water and reappeared with a golden axe. "Is this your axe?" the Lord asked.

The woodcutter replied, "No."

The Lord again went down and came up with a silver Axe. "Is this your axe?" the Lord asked.

Again, the woodcutter replied, "No."

The Lord went down again and came up with an iron Axe. "Is this your axe?" the Lord asked.

The woodcutter replied, "Yes."

The Lord was pleased with the man's honesty and gave him all three axes to keep, and the woodcutter went home happy.

Some time later the woodcutter was walking with his wife along the riverbank, and his wife fell into the river. When he cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked him, "Why are you crying?"

"Oh Lord, my wife has fallen into the water!"

The Lord went down into the water and came up with ANGELINA JOLIE "Is this your wife?" the Lord asked.

"Yes," cried the woodcutter.

The Lord was furious. "You lied! That is an untruth!"

The woodcutter replied, "Oh, forgive me, my Lord. It is a misunderstanding.

You see, if I had said 'no' to ANGELINA JOLIE , You would have come up with CAMERON DIAZ . Then if I said 'no' to her, you would have come up with my wife. Had I then said 'yes,' you would have given me all three.

Lord, I am a poor man, and am not able to take care of all three wives, so THAT'S why I said yes to ANGELINA JOLIE ."

The moral of this story is: Whenever a man lies, it is for a good and honorable reason, and for the benefit of others.

That's our story, and we're sticking to it! - "WE ARE HONORABLE MEN!"

100% privacy No Body Can See What You Doing On Your PC !

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*~ Tips & Tricks for Symbians ~*

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Tip 1 : Do u know how to use the edit button (abc or pencil button)?
Heres how... in the inbox for example; u wanna delete multiple sms, simply hold the edit button, scroll down, and then, press c to delete the marked sms. The edit button can also b used to copy and past text in sms, simply hold it and scroll across, choose copy. pretty good for placing song names in ngages


Tip 2 : Shit happens, on a smartphone, its inevitable u do something wrong, and tis calls for a format of fone. to format the fone, press *#7370#, then enter the lock code, which is the sec code of the fone. NOTE: batt must b full, else if format is disrupted by low batt, consequences will b disatrous
I heard the code *#7780# works too, pretty much the same i tink.
for 6600 users, to format the fone, theres an alternative way. Press and hold <3>, <*> and Call (Send) buttons, then power on fone, keep holding on the 3 buttons, till u come to a format screen. this method ONLY works on 6600, and need not enter the sec code. BUT sec code would be reset to default 12345.


Tip 3 : TO NGAGE USERS; Did u know u can install .sis files simply using the cable given? Juz plug it in, place the .sis file anywhere on e: (the mmc), not in any folders, root of e:, disconnect, then look for it in manager.


Tip 4:Save on battery and system memory being used by regulary checking the task manager which can be accessed by holding down the menu button!!


Tip 4a:Set the screen saver to a short time out period to prolong battery life.


Tip 4b: Avoid restarting the phone, or repeatedly turning it on and off. This helps increase battery life.


Tip 5: Type *#06# to display your IMEI serial number, very valuable for the unlocking your phone to other sim cards


Tip 6: Type *#0000# to view which firmware version you are running


Tip 7: If you would like to avoid being "blue jacked", keep bluetooth turned off, or set your phone's visibility to hidden.


Tip 8: Don't want to carry a watch and a phone? Set the screen saver to show date and time, then you can ditch the watch.


Tip 9: Save memory when installing apps, by installing over bluetooth. This can be done using the nokia phone suite and a bluetooth serial connection. Only works with .SIS files, so java still has to be sent to the phone, but will save space when using .SIS files.


Tip 10: Operator logos
Use a filemanager like FExplorer or SeleQ to add the folders: "c:/system/Apps/phone/oplogo". Add a .bmp picture to folder "oplogo" and restart your phone! The .bmp picture size needs to be: 97 x 25 pixels


Tip 11: Check if the recepients phone is on
Delivery reports
or
Type *0# your message in the message composer window space then write your message, the recipient will not see the star zero hash bit - just the message When they read it it will relay a message back to your fone showing the time they recieved it. (haven't yet tried it myself though)


Tip 12: BlueJacking
First up, you need to know what Bluetooth is. There are lots of types of modern devices that incorporate Bluetooth as one of their many features. PDAs, mobile phones and laptops are a few of these modern devices. Bluetooth means that Bluetooth enabled devices can send things like phonebook/address book contacts, pictures & notes to other Bluetooth enabled devices wirelessly over a range of about 10 metres. So, we've got past the boring part. Now, using a phone with Bluetooth, you can create a phonebook contact and write a message, eg. 'Hello, you've been bluejacked', in the 'Name' field. Then you can search for other phones with Bluetooth and send that phonebook contact to them. On their phone, a message will popup saying "'Hello, you've been bluejacked' has just been received by Bluetooth" or something along those lines. For most 'victims' they will have no idea as to how the message appeared on their phone.


Tip 13: While you are viewing a picture in your phone's gallery, press one of these shortcut keys (definitely works on 6600, not sure about other symbians)
1 - turn image anticlockwise
3 - turn image clockwise
* - toggle on/off of full screen
5 - zoom in
0 - zoom out
#15 u can select all files in a folder by selecting THE folder and copy it then paste it somewhere. however u need to make a new directory. fexplorer wun let u copy that folder together. well seleQ can mark files to copy but it really takes time!
#16: A soft and Hard reset
A Soft-reset - the process of resetting all the settings of the phone to the factory default! No applications are deleted! A Hard-reset is like formatting a drive! It does format the memory. Everything that has been installed after the first use of the phone is deleted! It will recover the memory of the phone to the state you purchased it! It is done by inputing the following code: *#7370# NOTE: The battery must be full or the charger has to be connected to the phone so that it does not run out of power and make the phone unusable.
#17: Formats of images
supported ones: JPG UPF GIF87a/89a WBMB MBM TIFF/F PNG EXIF
How to copy & paste text in your Nokia 3650:
Press and hold the pencil key and select your text using the scroll key.
Left function key will change to 'Copy'. Press it to copy the selected text to clipboard.
You can paste the clipboard contents the same way:
press and hold the pencil key and press 'Paste'. Or, press pencil key once and select 'Paste'.
Press and hold the Menu key to open the application switching window, where you can *duh* switch between applications.
If a program hangs and you can't shut it down, select the application in the
application switching window and press 'C' to kill it. It's also a faster way to exit programs.
Turn on/off the "click" sound made by the camera by selecting the 'Silent' profile or by turning warning tones on/off:
Menu > Profiles > "select your activated profile" > Personalise > Warning tones > On/Off.
(This also effects the sound of Java games and apps).
To change background image go to:
Menu > Tools > Settings > Phone > Standby mode > Background image > Yes > "choose an image".
The best size for background images is 174x132 pixels.
Only got blue, green and purple in your 3650 colour palette?
This free app adds 3 more colours: Palette Extender.
Display an image when someone's calling:
Menu > Contacts > "select a contact card" > Options > Edit > Options > Add thumbnail > "choose an image".
Add a personal ringing tone to a contact:
Menu > Contacts > "select a contact card" > Options > Open > Options > Ringing tone > "choose a ringing tone".
Delete all messages from your Inbox at once:
Menu > Messaging > Inbox > Options > Mark/Unmark > Mark all > Options > Delete.
Send or hide your caller ID: Go to: Menu > Tools > Settings > Call > Send My
Caller ID > 'Yes', 'No' or 'Set By Network' to follow the default settings of your home network.
If you often copy large files to your MultiMedia Card, I recommend a card reader.
E.g. With a card reader it takes only 12 seconds to copy a 10 MB file!
Record the sound of a phone call using the (sound) Recorder.
Menu > Extra's > Recorder > Options > Record sound clip.
Note: short beeps are audible during call registration.
But there is a 60 second limitation so if you want unlimited sound recording get this app: Extended Recorder.
While writing text, press "#" to switch between upper and lower case and Dictonary on/off (predictive text input).
Press and hold "#" to switch between Alpha mode and Number mode.
Keyboard shortcuts for zooming and rotating images in Images:
1 = zoom in, 0 = zoom out, press and hold to return to the normal view.
2 = rotate anticlockwise, 9 = rotate clockwise, * = full screen.
In standby mode, press and hold the right soft key to activate voice dialling.
To add a voice tag to a phone number, open a contact card and scroll to the phone number and select:
Options > Add voice tag.
You can customize both soft keys located below the screen (in standby mode):
Menu > Tools > Settings > Phone > Standby mode > Left/Right selection key > "select an application".

A new vacuum cleaner

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A new vacuum cleaner salesman knocked on the door on the first house of the street. A tall lady answered the door.

Before she could speak, the enthusiastic salesman barged into the living room and opened a big black plastic bag and poured all the cow droppings onto the carpet.

"Madam, if I could not clean this up with the use of this new powerful Vacuum cleaner, I will EAT all this dung!" exclaimed the eager salesman.

"Do you need chilly sauce or ketchup with that" asked the lady.

The bewildered salesman asked, "Why, madam?"

"There's no electricity in the house..." said the lady

MORAL: Gather all requirements and resources before working on any project and committing to the client...!!!